Journey from the Mountains to the Ocean.

I was pretty well ready to write what I thought was a funny blog today, until I went to my son's blog. I m not funny--he is. But heres my attempt.

Going to work every morning I listen to a radio program that has a contest for naming old Country Western songs and the artists.
The other day they played a song, I had never ever heard of but wish I could answer, this is truly useless information you might need on Jeopardy. Probably not.
The song just started off about this sad guy blues, and lovingly broke out into the chorus,
" I'm the only Hell my mother ever raised." I laughed so hard I had to pull the car over. I sincerely thought is was a joke. I continued to listen while crying through the laughter, and realized it was a real song. OMG It gets better. The song continues with 3 more sad verses. At the end, All I could think of was, the song Elizabeth wrote about Shitty Red Roof Inn, is sure to be hit. When the DJ comes back on in his southern style, saying, "Hello you are on WEZL, whats the name of that song?" and a lady I can only picture clearly as Larry The Cable-Guy's Mother answers, "Johnny Paycheck, I'm the only hell my mother ever raised."
"Ding Ding Ding ,You are a winner!" to which she replies, " I love that song, I play it all the time on my 8 tracks."
At this point, I am dying. I am done!!! I cannot drive the car. I have to pull over again. She goes on to say that "he is her favorite sanger and did you ever hear the one he did about sitting on the curb outsiden church?"
Now I cannot breath, and am seriously late for work. The dj replies, "Yes, Ma'am and I love that too, I think thats one of his greats. "GREATS!!!!!! Johnny Paycheck had GREATS!!! "Take this Job and Shove it" sold millions but was it GREAT?Heres a great country song, JUST READ THE CHORUS and the same DJ agrees with me or so he said the next day.
Ok I have to get to work so I drive like Im late, and arrive at work, my friend Sue says is everything ok, you look like you have been crying. I say as casually as I can, I say yeah sorry I am late, I was listening to the radio. ( I thought was probably the most clever sorry I am late excuse I have ever thought of, and its the first truthful one I have ever told.) and went to my office to begin my key punch day.
I sent Elizabeth an email and told her to work on those Red Roof Inn lyrics, I think I found a way to make a million bucks.

Shitty Red Roof Inn – Elizabeth H.

You go to the front office to get some soap
The clerk’s behind thick glass
“What the hell is this!” you pound
She replies with sass,
“You should’ve known better
Than to stay at a Red Roof Inn
And you shouldn’t have left your room
Because all your shit has been stolen”

Chorus
Shitty Red Roof Inn
Shitty Red Roof Inn
You should have known better
Than to stay at Red Roof Inn

Your room is never cleaned
The blood is still on the wall
The guy that got stabbed last night
Is staying down the hall

The housekeepers steal the shit
You shouldn’t have brought anyway
You should’ve known better
Look how much you have to pay.

Chorus

At 2 am some car doors slam
and bullets fly by your head
Someone’s come back
For the stab victim down the hall
There knocking on your door instead

Lying in bed the fire alarm goes off
You can sense no smoke
You walk outside your room to see
If it’s another Red Roof joke

The clerks comes out to address the crowd,
And explain why I am awake
“It’s not my fault the alarms so loud
Room 202 just had to get baked”

Shitty Red Roof Inn

Posted by Tim at 11:17 AM | Permalink | Comments

Happy Saturday to y'all
It has been a great Saturday in Mt. Pleasant, SC. I have re-discovered my childhood hobby of a game called "Fishing". It is indeed a noble game, as one can eat the winnings. With a donation from my Mother, as was the first time I began fishing, I purchased a rod and reel combination to begin the "Fishing"as an adult. This "Fishing", as I recalled, took many hours of planning and gathering of implements before any was accomplished. True Dat. With enough gear that I could carry in a beach bucket, I set out for the ritual of my youte.
Going to the local baitshop was the ticket. The crumedgoens there told me of the fantastic fishing holes of their youth (1944) and off I went. First to saltwater for a BIG fish maybe. To a place between Sullivans Island and Isle of Palms, Just around the corner from Our Apartment by the way, to fish the waveless inlet currents of about 25 feet deep. As the day went, I caught 3 Flounder. Which , if you know fish, this is a strange one. To say they are strange is a mild term, for their eyes, both eyes, are on the same side of their little pea heads. They change color as you move them from the dark sand in water to the beach sand, and then back again in the water. wow. thats cool. then I found that they have TEETH. Yes, white, sharp pointy Teeth. and they are slippery (DUH) No, I dint get gnashed, but only due to the Kindness of Others. By the way, there are Porpoises that hang by the bridge, I tried for pics, but the ol guy isn't that quick flipper. She's the dot in the center. Flipper!!!!!
Then, three hours later, I go to the bait shop again, and ask directions to the Pitt St. Bridge, here close again. This place is an old trolley bridge build in civil war times to get to Sullivans Is. It is now converted to a walkway and pier to the Intercoastal waterway. Feet and bikes only. Cool Place, no fish, try tomorrow a.m.
This is such a cool place. Thanks for reading. Tim

Posted by Tim at 7:01 PM | Permalink | Comments

Hey Kids!
Just walked in the door from a great driveabout, the blue ridge parkway from the south to midway. What a Beeautiful mountain chain these Appalachans are. The trees are mostly hardwoods with the density of a rainforest. The first day was spent getting there, 4hrs, but well worth it. E-Lizabeth came with us and had a great time and we enjoyed each others company. The ride there is equally as scenic, afterall, we're in South Carolina! The mountains were clouded in in the am, but cleared nicely by noon for us as we got there.
We went to Ruby Falls first just below the corner of the SC/NC state lines in Georgia. This is all just west of Greenville SC, if you're following along in your Atlas Reader. We got some great pics of the falls and the scenery all the way up the highway, that climbed above 5000 feet! (our ears popped even!) We came upon a hamlet called Helen, and it had been converted recently to a quaint Octoberfest-like format (Helen 2.0), well, the traffic just backed up about a mile to what we didn't know, come to find the tourists were lined up to get thru the alpen-haus fun town one lane at a time! once we got thru gawking at the tubbies strolling the autobahn, we had no more traffic problems.
We spent that first night in Clayton GA, in the same area, as we closed down the falls at 6:30! a one horse town set in the foothills, and one room for us. Got going early, after pillow fights till midnite, and set our sights on Asheville to the northeast. We had someAmazing vistas all the way up, as the clouds cleared we had to stop at every turnout to look and take pics-just like real tourists! Just in case YOU cant imagine what the Appalachains look like.
For eating habits, well, we just pack junk and eat till we start to feel sick on these roads, so when we get to the motel, we don't necessarilyhave an appetite for a big dinner (money savings) and then we're ready for the next morning in a flash!
When the second day started, the clouds were down on the deck, so we had a time seeing the sights on up the mountains, but the drive up to Asheville was spectacular. These woods are like nothing weeve seen before, as they dont have palms in them, and there is no standing swamp like Charleston. The hardwoods, Hickory, Ash, Buckeye, all Oaks and some pine scattered about, (all about 100 feet high) give a thick canopy that the sun kinda penetrates. We saw the sun hit the road frequently on the climb to the summit. The mist in the trees makes the road damp as we drive, and cool weather made it very comfy. We came to a lake in the mountains that had a beach associated, so we had to see. Still as can be, the lake reflected the trees and sky like a mirror. The kids playing on the sandybeach could be heard echoing across the lake. Really cool.
When we get time to take trips like these it reminds us that we live in a great part of the country, and we need to take the time to explore. We did the same thing in WY with the kids when they were young, and I hope that they do the same with theirs. Just remember that life is short, and these pictures in your OWN mind are all you take with you- Get out and make pictures!Thanks for reading- Tim

Posted by Tim at 9:07 PM | Permalink | Comments